Quotes From No More Lies That Amuse Me

I know some people interpret that “Kill your darlings” bit of author advice to mean you should ruthlessly delete every bit you really love, but I think that’s daft.  So these lines are almost definitely staying.  I also think that sharing these lines with no context can’t possibly hurt any potential future sales.  So, enjoy.:

Telling the woman you’ve only known for a less than a day that you know an author is describing how to lethally stab someone in the kidneys from experience is not a good idea.

Why did I have to go and get involved with a smart woman?

Sure, the kitchen sink and some other stuff folded out of the walls, there was barely room for two people, and the building looked like a good strong storm — which didn’t happen in that area of Kythin, thank the spirits — would take it down, but it was nowhere near bad enough to have communal bathrooms!

The last time a girlfriend had gotten that mad at me, I’d ended up dodging blaster bolts, so I tousled my hair, smiled my most charming smile, and said, “Sorry, babe.”

“Get back to your story before I have to kill your father,” Mom commanded.

“Based on the other tattoos I can see on your arms, I’d guess it says something like ‘sushi bar’.”

On the bright side, I thought, if she doesn’t believe you, at least she’s not going to dump you for lying to her.

It’s not that I’m anti-intellectual or anything, it’s just if I’m gonna have my face buried in a book, it’s going to be one full of fight scenes and death defying feats, not one full of numbers and science-y stuff.

To judge from Lance’s smile, he considered ‘oversexed space rat’ a compliment.

“If you’re really going to kill me, would you just get it over with and spare me the dramatics?”

“You may be a total dumbass, but you’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

“Actually, I’m an adult and I’m actin’ like this, ergo, I’m actin’ like an adult.”

“I still owe you an attempted drowning from when we were twelve.”

“Now, you’ve spent your whole life saying I never notice when you do something right, so fucking let me compliment you, son!”

Our friendship was based on our mutual insulting in large part.

“These things are divinely delicious, and she punishes people for misbehaving by not letting them have any!”

“I was mad, and I said something really fucking stupid that I didn’t really mean; it just kinda slipped out and now she’s furious with me and I’m one screw-up away from no cookies for the rest of the season . . . I already can’t have any more tonight, because I tried to sneak a whole plate of them away when my parents were already pissed at me for what I’d said to Ana! . . . and my life is utterly, totally miserable.”

Is he even trying to aim?!  I thought, disgusted by the lack of professionalism these Anerix assassins kept showing.

“I’m supposed to be helping Ginny keep Ria and Sarah out of trouble, so I need to go figure out where Ria is.”